Musings about Motherhood…

I have been thinking a lot about time lately.  This isn’t a new thing actually but I feel like I finally figured it out.  I had an aha moment this week, thanks to my husband. Let me tell you how I used to view time.

If I have one pet peeve or one thing that I nag about (about myself, to myself) it’s time.  Where does the time go?  Why did I only get one thing marked off my list and add 4 new ones?  Why does Drew want a snack right after I just cleaned up the kitchen?  Why does it take Kaylee almost 1 hour everyday to do her homework?  Why does Ady sometimes nap for 1/2 an hour instead of one full hour?  Why does Jake hop around every morning when I do his hair instead of just standing still?  It would take me half the time to get his hair done.   Why do I not get to scrapbook or read or watch T.V.  as much as I used to?  Why does it take me until almost 9:00 to finish up my chores for the night?  Why do I say I’m going to run errands for 2 hours and it really takes me 3?  Those are just a few of the questions that run through my head every day.  I feel like time gets stolen from me some way or another each day.  I have a list of things I need to get done and on the list are usually a couple of things I want to get done.  I’m good to prioritize so my list of wants are most often put towards the end.  I never, ever, ever  get everything done on my list.  Who does, really?  That used to eat me up, day after day.  I used to be able to make a list and feel like I accomplished something  at the end of the day.  Now, hardly ever.  It honestly drove me crazy.  I am the kind of person who is driven by self motivation.  Self motivation that stems from a sense of accomplishment.  If I don’t feel like I have accomplished something recently than my motivation starts to dwindle and I am left wondering “What’s the point?  Why do I even bother?” 

I have been complaining to Casey about time.  His time, my time, time as a family.  What has happened to it?  Where has it gone?  He feels the same time crunch and I know everyone else does too.  We live in busy times.  Times where it is so easy to add extra little things into our day.  Things that take up more time than we thought they would and probably aren’t as important as they might seem to be.  He has heard counsel from the Stake President recently on several different occasions about this same topic.  He shared it with me.  This one short sentence completely changed my view on time. 

“We all have the same 24-hours in a day.  It’s what we do with our time that is important.” 

That’s when it hit me.  Hearing that was like taking a blind fold from my eyes.  I could finally understand the value and importance of motherhood.  All of these years I knew how important motherhood was and I knew what I was doing was the right thing.  Heavenly Father wanted and needed me to be a mother.  I have been walking the steps of motherhood for almost 9 years now.  I know how hard and tedious it is.  Over time, I somehow changed my view on the day to day things and labeled them in my mind as unimportant.  “I am getting nothing accomplished.”  “I can’t get anything marked off my list.”  “All I do is wipe off counters and cook and do laundry.”  “Why can’t I ever get ahead?”  I had a completely selfish view and the selfishness made me truly think what I was doing every day was definitely not an accomplishment.  Getting my household chores done and having happy kids was not an accomplishment unless I got all of the extra things done each day too.  I was living in a dream land!  The reality of what I thought my day should be was so different than how it really was.  There is nothing greater than the call of motherhood.  I truly, truly, believe that now with all of my heart.  All of the tedious things that I do each day are soooooo important and sooooooo valuable.  There is nothing more important than taking care of Heavenly Father’s children.  I value my roll as a mother 100% now and view each day as an accomplishment.  Because it is.  It is from these tedious, trivial things that we make our children who they are.  And Heavenly Father values that.