Back to School – 2011 (and a little rambling from me)

I have been quiet on this blog lately.  I don’t even know where to begin.  So much has been swarming around in my mind for the last couple of months.  I am trying to figure things out as a mama and all of the different roles I play right now. It’s really never ending.  Once I get it figured out I have to figure it out all over again.  WHY does it have to be like that???  I have been working on finding a good schedule and routine that really works for my busy family.  I have to be honest and say that I have been struggling A LOT lately.  Life is so hard and so, so busy.  Too busy.  It is such a challenge to spread myself so thin all over the place and juggle it all while trying to do my very best at each thing and be there for everybody.  I can’t do it all anymore and I am not going to try.  I am going to prioritize.  I have been doing lots of list making and goal setting and priority changing.  I have been cleaning and organizing EVERYTHING under the moon in hopes to simplify our life…in our home as well as the activities that we are each involved in.  I have so many loves in life and hobbies that I can’t imagine giving up, but I honestly don’t have time for it all.  I feel like life is one big circle with different tasks changing all the time and when I focus on a certain area, other things that are also important, get neglected.  Even though I don’t like that fact, it’s ok, because that’s life.  I am just trying to wrap my head around it and weed out unnecessary things so I can use my time where it matters most.  Each day where I put my time might be different than it was the day before…and something else will get neglected, but that is ok. 

My kids love extra curricular activities and they are successful at them, but this year we needed to switch it up a bit.  Kaylee was in year round swim last year and she had practice every day.  While we didn’t go everyday, it was still a huge commitment and a huge chunk of time.  We re-evaluated and decided to take the fall off.  We will see how things look in January and maybe she will start then.  Last year the boys were both playing fall baseball (while Kaylee was swimming). We had 2 games a week and 2 practices each (at least).   This year the boys decided they wanted to give football a try.  So we found a league where they have practice for one hour on Saturday mornings and the game is right after that.  Now we only have a small commitment on Saturdays.  I am hoping that this will leave us more time for family dinners (or dinner at all) and more patient parenting from us rather than barking orders here and there as we are rushing to the next thing. 

That is just a small part of what has kept life so busy, but we I am trying to simplify ALL areas and keep my family home a little more often.  I know that soon my kids are going to grow up and plan their own schedules and activities and that is ok too, but right now and for this school year, I feel like it is important for us to teach them to slow down a little bit.  I want them to know that we value our time together as a family and that the heart of our family is at HOME.  I feel like now more than ever that is something we have to fight for…for our families and for togetherness.  I also know that I am going to have to be mindful of that every day and that every day I am going to have to make the best decisions on how our time is spent.  We just can’t do it all and it is ok to say no.

Which leads the topic to me.  I have my hands involved in so many things; managing my family and our home (which is HUGE), church callings, blogging, photography, projects, staying connected with friends and family, being involved at school and the list goes on.  We all do.  They are all SUCH good things but when I’m not eating, or sleeping or exercising because I am trying to do ALL of them at the same time, that is a red flag.  Something needs to change. 

BUT, I am not going to give them up.  They are each a part of who I am.  I am, however, going to take the pressure off myself and  do those extra things when  it works.   Journaling has always been important to me and it is something I want to make more time for, but I can’t do it when my family is hungry and I need to go to the grocery store and my kids are complaining that they have no clean clothes to wear and my house is a disaster and Ady is screaming that she wants to go swimming and she has mascara painted all over her face and I am exhausted and blah, blah, blah.  Sometimes it takes a couple of weeks to catch up from that!!!   Which has been the case for me.  I thought for sure once school was back in session life would be smooth.  I would have so much time to do all of these extra things, but that has not been the case.  It has taken me this long just to recover from summer and get organized again.       

This post really wasn’t supposed to be about me at all.  I felt like I needed to keep it real though.  This is my journal and I think down the road my kids need to know that I had a hard time keeping it all together and that being a mom is really hard.  That it is the hardest thing I will probably ever do. 

It is rewarding everyday moments and milestones like this (a new school year) that I want to document for my family.  I want them to know that they are worth the time it took for me to record a memory and some photos…even when my journaling might be sporadic.   

The kids were so excited for the first day of school.  I can’t believe how grown up they look in this picture.  I also can’t believe that I have a fifth grader, third grader and kindergartner!  

It has been really fun to have all 3 of them at the same school.  This is the only year I am going to be able to enjoy that.   Next year Kaylee will be in intermediate school and probably too old for me to even snap photos like these.  She was so ready to get to her class by the time we had dropped Jake and Drew off.  I was lucky to get these photos.  You can tell in the last one that she is so wishing I wasn’t there. hahaha… 

I just love her.  I was more sad to see her go to 5th grade than I was to see Drew go to Kindergarten.  That was unexpected for me.  Kindergarten is such a milestone and I was prepared for tears to come for Drew, but I was not for Kaylee.  When I came home I was most sad about leaving her behind. 

Jake cracked me up because he was so eager to get to his class and get started.  He knew exactly where his desk was, sat down and started working.  Jake is such a good student and REALLY loves learning. 

He has the same 3rd grade teacher as Kaylee did.  That has been the story each year for him.  We are really excited about that.  Mrs. Juneau received the teacher of the year award in our school district when Kaylee was her student.  She is awesome and so much fun! 

Oh Drew!  My sweet little Kindergartner.  He was excited about his big day, but definitely more nervous and not sure what to expect.  I can tell by look on his face.  He looks a little more reserved, which is so unlike him. 

He decided at the last minute to ride the bus home with the big kids instead of having me pick him up.  After I dropped Kaylee and Jake off I had to go to the office to get him a wrist band for the bus.  I was glad because I was able to come back and spend a little more time in his class room.  I snapped a few more photos and watched him say the Pledge of Allegiance.  It brings back so many memories! 

I hope my kids have a fun and memorable year at school.  I know they will.  I also hope that I can manage our home and schedules better this year and not lose my mind.  A girl can dream…

P.S. To read about my latest photography adventure go here.

So Blessed

I have been meaning to sit down and take some time to journal about Mothers Day all week,  but with 3 of us being sick, a husband working crazy hours of overtime, baseball tournaments, swim practices and end of the year parties my intentions to blog didn’t make it very far.  What’s new really?  That is just part of Motherhood.  Being able to roll with the punches and realize what is worth stressing out about and what isn’t comes with the territory.  I didn’t even clean my house this week, as in…didn’t make a bed, didn’t wipe off a counter, didn’t vacuum…nothing.  I can honestly say I didn’t have time for it.  I don’t plan on making that a habit, but this week that is just how it had to be.  It has taken me a long time to get to the point of living day by day and having to decide what I can look past each day.  Even though I don’t enjoy living in chaos on a regular basis, I have come to the realization that this is my life and I really do love it.  I love that my life isn’t boring and that I learn new skills and am pushed to my limit every day.  I have to get creative to make things work around here in our home, with our children and managing our schedules.  I am thankful for my husband and good friends and neighbors who forgive me for my forgetfulness and know my true intentions.  Most of all I am thankful to be a mother to these 4 beautiful children and for my husband who makes it possible for me to be the kind of mother I desire to be (and am STILL working on becoming).   

 

Earlier last week Drew’s school hosted a Mothers Day lunch.  It is the cutest thing ever.  The kids and teachers put so much effort and love into it.  Everything was hand made.  My lunch was all served up for me and ready to go when I got there.  Drew had made butterflies on my placemat with his hand prints.  To know which place setting was mine there was a hand made picture of me and a vase of flowers with Drew’s picture.  My gift was a recipe holder with a poem about Mothers.  So sweet.  I use the recipe holder in my kitchen now.  

The kids were on staging singing for the first half off the program and then when it was time to eat with us they came and knelt on one knee in front of their moms and sang “You are my Sunshine”.  It truly was the sweetest thing ever!  I don’t cry really, but the tears started coming during this song.  I had one of those flashback and then flashforward mom moments and it scared me!  I sang this song to Drew all the time as a baby and a toddler.  Up until just a couple of years ago he was still asking me to sing him this song when I tucked him in at night.  And now here he is singing to me!  Seeing him on his knee in front of me made me realize how fast he is growing up.  He is still MY baby and always will be, but I know that sooner than later he is going to have other girls in his heart and be on one knee proposing.  I know that sounds so silly, but he is not going to be little forever.  I love this little boy of mine and all the extra time we have been able to spend together.  He has a July birthday and I struggled a lot with the decision to keep him home for another year or send him to Kindergarten.  I know that we made the right decision by keeping him home.  He is so ready to be with the big kids now and I can let him go knowing that he is more mature and better prepared.  Plus, once they start school, that’s it.  You can’t ever get those years at home back. 

My family spoiled me on Mothers Day weekend.  I was able to take half of Saturday and go on a much needed shopping trip and then enjoyed staying in a hotel all by myself.  My husband understands my language.  The way I recharge my batteries is time away.  It was the perfect gift for me.  My family joined me for breakfast and then I came home to a bazillion hand made gifts.  I have an art section in my laundry room where all of my gifts are hanging and will be for awhile.  It’s nice to know that I am needed AND appreciated. :)

ME…A New Me (kindof)

Have you ever felt the need to reinvent yourself?  Just start from scratch?  Not that you would be completely different than you are right now,  maybe just tweaked a little here and there.  Softened around the edges.

I have. 

Maybe you feel like you got lost somewhere along the way and you are wondering WHY you do the things you do each and every day. 

I have had those feelings.

I am sure you noticed my blogging absence lately.  I have been doing a lot of  reinventing.  A lot of quiet time trying to get to the bottom of things.  Things like how I spend my time each day. Why I insist on rushing around all day long.  The things that are keeping me busy… are they important…to me, to my family, to Heavenly Father?  What REALLY makes ME happy?  What makes me tick?  Do you ask yourself those kind of questions? 

I try not to honestly.  Sometimes they can be scary to come clean about.  But sometimes it’s just necessary. 

After I really gave myself time to think about it, I realized I was too busy to be truly happy.  The kind of happy that you feel deep down.  Not just surface happy.  I was surface happy, but I was also exhausted all the time and sleep deprived, like most moms.  And honestly, I was sick of feeling that way!  I needed to slow down.  But how?  As I thought about this… what needed to change, why my life feels so out of control, what is a better way for me to manage my day, I kept thinking about how life was before we moved to Texas, when we used to live in Utah.  For some reason those days felt simpler to me.  I didn’t feel like I was getting pulled in every direction possible.  I remember barely checking my e-mail.  I was hardly ever on the computer.  How would that be now, when your computer and your cell phone is the main source of communication?  Technology has come a long way and can be a blessing in our lives, but was I using it wisely?

What I was craving were quiet afternoons while kids were napping or having quiet time themselves so I could sit and read a book.  Going to bed at a decent time so I could wake up feeling refreshed because, guess what? I didn’t stay up until 1:30 in the morning finishing up projects, lists, posts, cleaning and whatever else I thought was more important than sleep. I decided it was time for me to make new priorities and take the simpler route.   No more excessive time on the computer. I started going to bed early and getting up early, exercising, reading (I read the Hunger Games Series…AWESOME! ) I started being more dedicated to spiritual things like reading my scriptures and saying my prayers regularly.  I was able to cook more often and stay on top of my chores.  I was enjoying this new laid back pace where I didn’t give myself deadlines and squeeze in a million extra things. 

But something was still missing.

I was missing. 

ME. 

The person I always knew and the person I  had become.

I had taken away everything I loved to do. The creative side of me anyway.  Which helps define who I am.  Blogging, photography, creating around my house and scrapbooking are all important to me.  That is part of what makes me tick and what makes me happy.  I decided my routine needed to change so that I could squeeze ME back into the equation.  And guess what? It is working!  I still don’t have all the time I would like to have, but a little bit of creative time is so much better than nothing at all.       

I HAVE LEARNED moderation in all things is key.  I personally need a little bit from every category.  Sleep, reading, exercise, creative time, time with family and friends, responsibilities and spiritual growth. 

I HAVE LEARNED that reading the scriptures every day and personal prayer really do help.  Early to bed and early to rise is the smartest thing ever!  These two things go hand in hand.  No wonder I have been taught this from my parents and church leaders since I was little.  Just because I am a grown up doesn’t mean I shouldn’t listen. :)

I HAVE LEARNED not to ignore myself.  Each of us are different and need different things to keep our blood pumping.  Now I know what mine is.  Have you thought about what yours is?

I HAVE LEARNED that I am a better mother and wife when I take time for myself and when my life doesn’t involve having to be responsible all the time.

I HAVE LEARNED that routines are always changing and that is ok. 

I HAVE LEARNED that listening to our inner voice is the way we gain strength and peace. 

So much learned, but so much more TO LEARN.

While I was at it, I decided to reinvent my blog.  Do you like it?  It had gotten lost somewhere along the way too.  I am rededicating myself to my blog…because I want to.  Because journaling about my thoughts and my family and our home make me happy.

Here is a photo for you that makes me happy and want to be a better me.

I have been updating my 365 Blog.  Feel free to check it out!

BiRtHdAy Girl { Part 1 } and an announcement

Ady had her first birthday on Wednesday October 13th.  Nana Moes was in town for the special day.  She always helps to make things festive.  Ady woke up to a decorated kitchen area, not that she cared at all, but it made the day fun.  We knew we were going to spread the celebrations out through the week, so her birthday was dedicated to the traditional “cake dig”.  A first birthday would not be the same unless we had a special cake and a messy face.  Which we had plenty of.  I wanted these photos to be part of her 12 month photo shoot so I set up a spot especially for her and we had some fun!

She knew exactly what to do.  It was like she was an old soul and had done this before.  I will let the pictures tell the story. :)

 

And she decides she is done!

    

The End.  Of the cake dig anyway.

Afterward, we took her outside and hosed her off.  We let her open a present and she spent the rest of the day like this.

 

In her birthday suit, playing with toys. 

I can’t even begin to put into words what a fast and amazing ride this past year has been.  Before I had Ady I was so nervous, wondering how I could possibly do it and what life would be like with a fourth child.  But I took the leap of faith because I knew in my heart that was what Heavenly Father wanted me to do, no matter how nervous I was.  Some days I don’t know how I make it through the day and it is all about survival, but even on those days I am ALWAYS reminded what a blessing she is and how much we ALL absolutely love and adore her.  She has made each one of us stretch and grow in ways that I couldn’t imagine before.  I am amazed at how life can change so much but at the same time I can’t seem to remember what it was like before.  I feel like this sweet little girl has been a part of our lives forever.  I am so grateful for the opportunity to watch Ady grow in our home and I am excited to learn even more about her cute little personality.  We love you, Ady! 

Up next: Her birthday decor. 

Announcement:  I am feeling the urge to dig my feet in a little more with photography.  I am feeling confident and excited to do photo shoots for other people (besides just my family).  If you are in the Houston area and would like a photo shoot, please e-mail me for details.  My contact is on the sidebar towards the top. Thank you! 

Drew’s Turn

My little man started school last week.  Which meant it was his turn to be the star of his own Back to School photo shoot with mom.  He is fun to have in front of the camera.  He always has his own agenda and I just have to follow along.   Look how big he is!  I seriously love that smile!   

 

 

At this age he still enjoys having me take him to school and be a part of his big day.  I love that!  He clung to my leg a little bit until his teachers greeted him by name and gave him a big hug.  Then he actually WANTED me to snap some photos while he showed me around his room. (unlike his siblings on the first day) 

Here are some outtakes that warm my mothering heart and make me laugh out loud!  He was being silly in between shots. We had lots of laughs!   

 

His laugh and smile are infectious!  When I am grumpy, both of my boys have the gift of laughter that melts everything away.  It really is a gift.  I hope that laughter will always be important to them. 

And of course he waves  to the neighbors as they drive by.  I love this boy!!

 

Drew,

I hope have an awesome year at preschool!  A year that gets you ready and excited for Kindergarten.  You are such a fun boy to be around.  I miss you while you are gone, but I know that you are growing and having wonderful experiences.  I hope that you will share your fun personality with others and always remember to be an example. 

I love you,

Mom

Birthday Aprons

I never thought I would be doing this in a million years.  Just for the record, I had to share.

 

Seriously!  It actually looks like I know what I’m doing. :)  In the back of my mind I have always wondered how my daughters would learn to sew.  It seems like every girl wants to learn at one time or another.  I just never thought I would be the teacher.  Andrea inspired me one day to make birthday aprons.  I was reading this post and decided it would be fun for Kaylee and I to tackle this project together. 

It was easy enough for us to do.  If I can do this, anyone can!  Look how proud she is.

That face makes it so worth it!  It’s just a bonus that they turned out so cute.  We decided that this would be her birthday gift to friends for one year.  We can personalize them by finding out each friends favorite color.  We included a box of chocolate cake mix and creme cheese frosting along with the recipe for Homemade Oreo’s on a cute recipe card from Kaylee’s Kitchen.  Here are the aprons we’ve made so far.

She has been so excited to give these away as gifts.  They have been a big hit and made with love.  We  decided Kaylee had to have her own birthday apron too.  She picked out the fabric and helped sew most of it.  

 

 

Our recipe for Homemade Oreo’s: (Super easy for kids to make on their own.)

1 Pkg. Chocolate Cake Mix

2 Eggs

3/4 Cup Shortening

* Mix and roll into balls.  Bake @ 350  for 8 min.

Creme Cheese Frosting:

8 oz. creme cheese

3 cups powder sugar

1/4 cup butter

2 tsp. vanilla

Smear frosting on one cookie and top with the other.  If you want the really easy kid friendly way just buy the store bought creme cheese.

Enjoy!

Summer Prep – Part 5

 

Or should I say “You Time”?  I think that we need to take time for ourselves this summer.  Time to think about what we want to do.  Doing something that makes us happy, just for us, even if it’s only in half hour amounts of time.  I want to have happy children in my house and I want to enjoy being with them, but in order for me to really do that I need to know that there is time for me too. 

Elder M. Russell Ballard said,  “Even as you try to cut out the extra commitments, sisters, find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children.”

So, so important, but so easy to forget!  I hope that each of you will plan time for yourselves during the summer break, even with the kids home. Get a babysitter one afternoon and run errands by yourself.  Put the kids to bed early a couple nights a week and do whatever you want to.  Join a gym and take advantage of the free babysitting.  Have a girls night out.  Lock yourself in your bedroom while the kids watch a movie and read or lay on your bed and veg.

I plan on having a little bit of Me Time everyday.  Even though I am planning on it, I know I won’t always get it, but I really am going to try to make it a priority too.  Do you remember my Summer Plan?  I have written on there Quiet Time and Free Time.  I think kids need to have free time everyday to play however they want to and a little bit of quiet time never hurt anyone, but mostly I planned those in for selfish reasons.  I want some me time!  And that is when I’m going to get it.  I am also going to put my kids to bed on time a couple of nights a week and have a few hours for myself before bed. 

I plan on scrapbooking – A LOT and when I need a break from that

I plan on sprucing up my bedroom – a little here and there and in between that

I plan to read.  I have missed reading books.

And I’m not going to feel guilty because I know I will be a happier mom and that

is

a

good

thing!

 

That’s a rap on my summer posts!  Have a great summer and make the most of it.  It goes by much to fast!

A set back and a question…

Have you ever heard of Plantar Fasciitis?  I hadn’t until the end of last week.  I started complaining to anyone with ears about how badly the heal of my foot was hurting.  Every single one of them unanimously said, “I bet you have Plantar Fasciitis.”  Ahhhhhh…Planter what???  I still have to ask Casey, “What’s that foot thing I have,”  when I’m explaining it to someone.  Now that I have typed it up, I don’t think I will forget.  That’s how I learn. 

Anyway, early last week my foot started hurting.  That tired kind of hurt after you’ve walked on hard wood or tile barefoot all day.  I get that a lot, so I didn’t think much about it.  But then it didn’t go away, even after I put socks on or my slippers.  It gradually kept getting worse and worse.  By Thursday evening I could barely walk on it and by Friday morning I was in tears with every little step, hoping for any kind of medicine, thinking that a wheel chair and crutches sounded pretty awesome.  That’s when I heard about Plantar Fasciitis.  (Click and get the details if you want.)  The sad thing is it doesn’t go away quickly.  I could have this for years.  There is no easy treatment.  Darn it!!  Can I cry now?

 So these are my new favorite necessities in life:  

Doesn’t that look depressing?  Can I just say…aging sucks! I’m sure this doesn’t have anything to do with my age, but I feel like it does.  I am on a good rotation with Advil and Tylenol.  Tennis shoes are my shoe of choice these days (yuck, yuck, yuck!!!) I love my shoe insert and rolling my foot on ice is Heavenly.  These things have helped a lot.  I’m not in tears anymore and I have given up on my pity party, although I move like a turtle and that drives me crazy!  Slowness and me are not friends. at.all.

But I have reluctantly learned to be friends with this turtle side of me.  There is a lesson in everything.  Right now my lesson has been to see the blessings from slowing down a little.  I have had to let things in my house go (I swear, that is a never ending lesson for me).  Instead, I have enjoyed sitting on the couch more, as hard as it may be.  That has opened my lap up to my children more with some genuine get to know you talks.  I have been able to see the nurturing side of my children while  I hear my name in their prayers.  I see how much quicker they move to help me around the house.  It has also freed up a little time for me to tackle some reading that I have been wanting to do for awhile.  All in all, I think I can cope.  It could always be worse.        

On a different note, my children had a Primary Activity last Saturday.  They brought me home early Mothers Day gifts.

Aren’t they cute?  I love how the boys made me flowers.  I can just picture my boys doing a flowery craft.  Makes me smile.   Kaylee chose to write about me.  She knows me so well!  I love getting gifts like these from them. 

So here is my question…What do you give the Mothers in  your life for Mothers Day?  Do you have to put something in the mail or do they live by you?  I have to put them in the mail and my creative brain isn’t working right now.  I’m starting to run out of time.  Help!  Do you have an suggestions?

P.S.  Ady pulled herself up today.  She was sitting on the floor in front of the ottoman and all of the sudden I saw her little face pop up over the top.  She was after a piece of paper.  She stood there for a long time.  That girl is growing up way too fast!

I love this…

 

Even though Spring is short lived in Houston, I love it.  Maybe that’s why I love it so much.  We have a couple of months of perfect spring weather.  We enjoy and appreciate every second of it before the hot, humid stickiness of summer arrives.  My absolute favorite thing about spring in Houston is the wildflowers.  They are all over the place.  They are in full bloom for about a month.  It makes our normal every day trip into town a lot more enjoyable.  I had my camera in the car with me one day and decided to snap some pictures on our drive.  

 

Isn’t it beautiful?  I find myself driving home different ways  just to get glimpses of every street during spring.  The wild flowers probably only have a couple more weeks left, if we’re lucky.

Then there are the Blue Bonnets.  You can’t live in Texas and not have a picture with the Blue Bonnets.  Well, we didn’t have one.  We have almost lived here for 3 years and still no blue bonnet picture.  Not that I really cared, but I was feeling ambitous, so we got the kids dressed up on Easter Sunday and headed out.

These pictures look like we were having lots of fun, but it didn’t last very long.  You know how you take a picture and you look at it years later and think “that was a cute picture.” and then you remember the story behind the picture?  That is how it is for me with these Easter Sunday pictures.  I made every mistake in the book. 

1. It was in the middle of the day and the sun was in full force. 

2. EVERYBODY else had the same idea, so it was packed.  (It doesn’t look like it, but it was. I promise.) 

3. It was getting hot.  We were all getting grumpy.

4. Casey was with me and he hates pictures.  We’ll just leave it at that.

5. And the worst mistake of all…I lost Jake’s glasses…in the blue bonnets.

Me.  The mom.  The one that everyone comes to when things get lost.  The one that can ALWAYS find the lost item.  The one who NEVER misplaces anything.  Me. 

It was awful.  We didn’t realize it until we were almost home and Jake asked me for his glasses.  I had him take them off because they were getting a glare.  I must have set them down and forgotten them.  Casey and I looked at each other.  Let’s just say we both were not happy.  We went back to the blue bonnets in hopes of finding them.  I wasn’t hoping.  I KNEW I would find them.  That’s just how it goes.  Oh yeah, except for this time.

Do you need another look at this blue bonnet field?          

It’s huge and we were all over the place!  After searching high and low for 40 minutes I was defeated and close to tears.  I felt bad for Jake and I felt awful for making such a dumb mistake.  How careless and stupid was that?  Seriously.  Casey wasn’t ready to forgive my quite yet.  I really didn’t blame him, but then I reminded him of that time he lost our van in the parking lot at Disney World.  He didn’t have much to say after that!  That wasn’t funny then, but it sure is funny now.  Ha, ha, ha!   

Musings about Motherhood…

I have been thinking a lot about time lately.  This isn’t a new thing actually but I feel like I finally figured it out.  I had an aha moment this week, thanks to my husband. Let me tell you how I used to view time.

If I have one pet peeve or one thing that I nag about (about myself, to myself) it’s time.  Where does the time go?  Why did I only get one thing marked off my list and add 4 new ones?  Why does Drew want a snack right after I just cleaned up the kitchen?  Why does it take Kaylee almost 1 hour everyday to do her homework?  Why does Ady sometimes nap for 1/2 an hour instead of one full hour?  Why does Jake hop around every morning when I do his hair instead of just standing still?  It would take me half the time to get his hair done.   Why do I not get to scrapbook or read or watch T.V.  as much as I used to?  Why does it take me until almost 9:00 to finish up my chores for the night?  Why do I say I’m going to run errands for 2 hours and it really takes me 3?  Those are just a few of the questions that run through my head every day.  I feel like time gets stolen from me some way or another each day.  I have a list of things I need to get done and on the list are usually a couple of things I want to get done.  I’m good to prioritize so my list of wants are most often put towards the end.  I never, ever, ever  get everything done on my list.  Who does, really?  That used to eat me up, day after day.  I used to be able to make a list and feel like I accomplished something  at the end of the day.  Now, hardly ever.  It honestly drove me crazy.  I am the kind of person who is driven by self motivation.  Self motivation that stems from a sense of accomplishment.  If I don’t feel like I have accomplished something recently than my motivation starts to dwindle and I am left wondering “What’s the point?  Why do I even bother?” 

I have been complaining to Casey about time.  His time, my time, time as a family.  What has happened to it?  Where has it gone?  He feels the same time crunch and I know everyone else does too.  We live in busy times.  Times where it is so easy to add extra little things into our day.  Things that take up more time than we thought they would and probably aren’t as important as they might seem to be.  He has heard counsel from the Stake President recently on several different occasions about this same topic.  He shared it with me.  This one short sentence completely changed my view on time. 

“We all have the same 24-hours in a day.  It’s what we do with our time that is important.” 

That’s when it hit me.  Hearing that was like taking a blind fold from my eyes.  I could finally understand the value and importance of motherhood.  All of these years I knew how important motherhood was and I knew what I was doing was the right thing.  Heavenly Father wanted and needed me to be a mother.  I have been walking the steps of motherhood for almost 9 years now.  I know how hard and tedious it is.  Over time, I somehow changed my view on the day to day things and labeled them in my mind as unimportant.  “I am getting nothing accomplished.”  “I can’t get anything marked off my list.”  “All I do is wipe off counters and cook and do laundry.”  “Why can’t I ever get ahead?”  I had a completely selfish view and the selfishness made me truly think what I was doing every day was definitely not an accomplishment.  Getting my household chores done and having happy kids was not an accomplishment unless I got all of the extra things done each day too.  I was living in a dream land!  The reality of what I thought my day should be was so different than how it really was.  There is nothing greater than the call of motherhood.  I truly, truly, believe that now with all of my heart.  All of the tedious things that I do each day are soooooo important and sooooooo valuable.  There is nothing more important than taking care of Heavenly Father’s children.  I value my roll as a mother 100% now and view each day as an accomplishment.  Because it is.  It is from these tedious, trivial things that we make our children who they are.  And Heavenly Father values that.