ME…A New Me (kindof)

Have you ever felt the need to reinvent yourself?  Just start from scratch?  Not that you would be completely different than you are right now,  maybe just tweaked a little here and there.  Softened around the edges.

I have. 

Maybe you feel like you got lost somewhere along the way and you are wondering WHY you do the things you do each and every day. 

I have had those feelings.

I am sure you noticed my blogging absence lately.  I have been doing a lot of  reinventing.  A lot of quiet time trying to get to the bottom of things.  Things like how I spend my time each day. Why I insist on rushing around all day long.  The things that are keeping me busy… are they important…to me, to my family, to Heavenly Father?  What REALLY makes ME happy?  What makes me tick?  Do you ask yourself those kind of questions? 

I try not to honestly.  Sometimes they can be scary to come clean about.  But sometimes it’s just necessary. 

After I really gave myself time to think about it, I realized I was too busy to be truly happy.  The kind of happy that you feel deep down.  Not just surface happy.  I was surface happy, but I was also exhausted all the time and sleep deprived, like most moms.  And honestly, I was sick of feeling that way!  I needed to slow down.  But how?  As I thought about this… what needed to change, why my life feels so out of control, what is a better way for me to manage my day, I kept thinking about how life was before we moved to Texas, when we used to live in Utah.  For some reason those days felt simpler to me.  I didn’t feel like I was getting pulled in every direction possible.  I remember barely checking my e-mail.  I was hardly ever on the computer.  How would that be now, when your computer and your cell phone is the main source of communication?  Technology has come a long way and can be a blessing in our lives, but was I using it wisely?

What I was craving were quiet afternoons while kids were napping or having quiet time themselves so I could sit and read a book.  Going to bed at a decent time so I could wake up feeling refreshed because, guess what? I didn’t stay up until 1:30 in the morning finishing up projects, lists, posts, cleaning and whatever else I thought was more important than sleep. I decided it was time for me to make new priorities and take the simpler route.   No more excessive time on the computer. I started going to bed early and getting up early, exercising, reading (I read the Hunger Games Series…AWESOME! ) I started being more dedicated to spiritual things like reading my scriptures and saying my prayers regularly.  I was able to cook more often and stay on top of my chores.  I was enjoying this new laid back pace where I didn’t give myself deadlines and squeeze in a million extra things. 

But something was still missing.

I was missing. 

ME. 

The person I always knew and the person I  had become.

I had taken away everything I loved to do. The creative side of me anyway.  Which helps define who I am.  Blogging, photography, creating around my house and scrapbooking are all important to me.  That is part of what makes me tick and what makes me happy.  I decided my routine needed to change so that I could squeeze ME back into the equation.  And guess what? It is working!  I still don’t have all the time I would like to have, but a little bit of creative time is so much better than nothing at all.       

I HAVE LEARNED moderation in all things is key.  I personally need a little bit from every category.  Sleep, reading, exercise, creative time, time with family and friends, responsibilities and spiritual growth. 

I HAVE LEARNED that reading the scriptures every day and personal prayer really do help.  Early to bed and early to rise is the smartest thing ever!  These two things go hand in hand.  No wonder I have been taught this from my parents and church leaders since I was little.  Just because I am a grown up doesn’t mean I shouldn’t listen. :)

I HAVE LEARNED not to ignore myself.  Each of us are different and need different things to keep our blood pumping.  Now I know what mine is.  Have you thought about what yours is?

I HAVE LEARNED that I am a better mother and wife when I take time for myself and when my life doesn’t involve having to be responsible all the time.

I HAVE LEARNED that routines are always changing and that is ok. 

I HAVE LEARNED that listening to our inner voice is the way we gain strength and peace. 

So much learned, but so much more TO LEARN.

While I was at it, I decided to reinvent my blog.  Do you like it?  It had gotten lost somewhere along the way too.  I am rededicating myself to my blog…because I want to.  Because journaling about my thoughts and my family and our home make me happy.

Here is a photo for you that makes me happy and want to be a better me.

I have been updating my 365 Blog.  Feel free to check it out!