I have been quiet on this blog lately. I don’t even know where to begin. So much has been swarming around in my mind for the last couple of months. I am trying to figure things out as a mama and all of the different roles I play right now. It’s really never ending. Once I get it figured out I have to figure it out all over again. WHY does it have to be like that??? I have been working on finding a good schedule and routine that really works for my busy family. I have to be honest and say that I have been struggling A LOT lately. Life is so hard and so, so busy. Too busy. It is such a challenge to spread myself so thin all over the place and juggle it all while trying to do my very best at each thing and be there for everybody. I can’t do it all anymore and I am not going to try. I am going to prioritize. I have been doing lots of list making and goal setting and priority changing. I have been cleaning and organizing EVERYTHING under the moon in hopes to simplify our life…in our home as well as the activities that we are each involved in. I have so many loves in life and hobbies that I can’t imagine giving up, but I honestly don’t have time for it all. I feel like life is one big circle with different tasks changing all the time and when I focus on a certain area, other things that are also important, get neglected. Even though I don’t like that fact, it’s ok, because that’s life. I am just trying to wrap my head around it and weed out unnecessary things so I can use my time where it matters most. Each day where I put my time might be different than it was the day before…and something else will get neglected, but that is ok.
My kids love extra curricular activities and they are successful at them, but this year we needed to switch it up a bit. Kaylee was in year round swim last year and she had practice every day. While we didn’t go everyday, it was still a huge commitment and a huge chunk of time. We re-evaluated and decided to take the fall off. We will see how things look in January and maybe she will start then. Last year the boys were both playing fall baseball (while Kaylee was swimming). We had 2 games a week and 2 practices each (at least). This year the boys decided they wanted to give football a try. So we found a league where they have practice for one hour on Saturday mornings and the game is right after that. Now we only have a small commitment on Saturdays. I am hoping that this will leave us more time for family dinners (or dinner at all) and more patient parenting from us rather than barking orders here and there as we are rushing to the next thing.
That is just a small part of what has kept life so busy, but
we I am trying to simplify ALL areas and keep my family home a little more often. I know that soon my kids are going to grow up and plan their own schedules and activities and that is ok too, but right now and for this school year, I feel like it is important for us to teach them to slow down a little bit. I want them to know that we value our time together as a family and that the heart of our family is at HOME. I feel like now more than ever that is something we have to fight for…for our families and for togetherness. I also know that I am going to have to be mindful of that every day and that every day I am going to have to make the best decisions on how our time is spent. We just can’t do it all and it is ok to say no.
Which leads the topic to me. I have my hands involved in so many things; managing my family and our home (which is HUGE), church callings, blogging, photography, projects, staying connected with friends and family, being involved at school and the list goes on. We all do. They are all SUCH good things but when I’m not eating, or sleeping or exercising because I am trying to do ALL of them at the same time, that is a red flag. Something needs to change.
BUT, I am not going to give them up. They are each a part of who I am. I am, however, going to take the pressure off myself and do those extra things when it works. Journaling has always been important to me and it is something I want to make more time for, but I can’t do it when my family is hungry and I need to go to the grocery store and my kids are complaining that they have no clean clothes to wear and my house is a disaster and Ady is screaming that she wants to go swimming and she has mascara painted all over her face and I am exhausted and blah, blah, blah. Sometimes it takes a couple of weeks to catch up from that!!! Which has been the case for me. I thought for sure once school was back in session life would be smooth. I would have so much time to do all of these extra things, but that has not been the case. It has taken me this long just to recover from summer and get organized again.
This post really wasn’t supposed to be about me at all. I felt like I needed to keep it real though. This is my journal and I think down the road my kids need to know that I had a hard time keeping it all together and that being a mom is really hard. That it is the hardest thing I will probably ever do.
It is rewarding everyday moments and milestones like this (a new school year) that I want to document for my family. I want them to know that they are worth the time it took for me to record a memory and some photos…even when my journaling might be sporadic.
The kids were so excited for the first day of school. I can’t believe how grown up they look in this picture. I also can’t believe that I have a fifth grader, third grader and kindergartner!
It has been really fun to have all 3 of them at the same school. This is the only year I am going to be able to enjoy that. Next year Kaylee will be in intermediate school and probably too old for me to even snap photos like these. She was so ready to get to her class by the time we had dropped Jake and Drew off. I was lucky to get these photos. You can tell in the last one that she is so wishing I wasn’t there. hahaha…
I just love her. I was more sad to see her go to 5th grade than I was to see Drew go to Kindergarten. That was unexpected for me. Kindergarten is such a milestone and I was prepared for tears to come for Drew, but I was not for Kaylee. When I came home I was most sad about leaving her behind.
Jake cracked me up because he was so eager to get to his class and get started. He knew exactly where his desk was, sat down and started working. Jake is such a good student and REALLY loves learning.
He has the same 3rd grade teacher as Kaylee did. That has been the story each year for him. We are really excited about that. Mrs. Juneau received the teacher of the year award in our school district when Kaylee was her student. She is awesome and so much fun!
Oh Drew! My sweet little Kindergartner. He was excited about his big day, but definitely more nervous and not sure what to expect. I can tell by look on his face. He looks a little more reserved, which is so unlike him.
He decided at the last minute to ride the bus home with the big kids instead of having me pick him up. After I dropped Kaylee and Jake off I had to go to the office to get him a wrist band for the bus. I was glad because I was able to come back and spend a little more time in his class room. I snapped a few more photos and watched him say the Pledge of Allegiance. It brings back so many memories!
I hope my kids have a fun and memorable year at school. I know they will. I also hope that I can manage our home and schedules better this year and not lose my mind. A girl can dream…
P.S. To read about my latest photography adventure go here.