Monday, March 31, 2008

A Little Boys Perspective

Anyone who knows me and Casey, even just a little bit, knows how much he helps me with whatever needs helping with. I greatly love and appreciate him for this quality. He doesn't like to sit and be idle and I'm all about getting things accomplished and moving on to the next thing. Because of that we make a great team...this is one of the things in our marriage that always keeps us united through the ups and downs.

Then you throw Jake into the mix...
Our little 5 year old, very observant and outspoken boy! A couple of months ago he told me I was "bossin Dad around too much!" and "why can't you just do that mom?". Casey and I laughed and thought it was pretty funny. I will be the first one to admit that I can be bossy, it goes hand in hand with my lack of patience that I'm constantly working on. Well, this has continued to go on, with him feeling the need to stick up for his dad whenever possible. I was even at Sam's Club a couple of weeks ago and I picked up some shirts for Casey. Jake told me that I didn't have to buy dad any shirts, he could pick them out on his own. What wife doesn't buy shirts for their husband!? If I didn't buy Casey clothes (or remind him he needs some new things) then he would never have anything new! He could care less about shopping. I came home telling Casey the story...he just laughed and said "That's his perspective of reality." My feelings were starting to get hurt at this point. I didn't want my little boy to grow up thinking his mom is some demanding, control freak who bosses her husband around! Casey just laughed again and told me that he was sure Jake didn't think that about me. I said "Yeah right!" So...the kids are eating lunch a couple of days ago and I'm downstairs with them in the kitchen. Casey is upstairs vacuming for me. Here's Jakes perspective:

Jake: "Mom, why aren't you upstairs vacuming?"
Me: "Because I'm doing other things down here. What am I doing right now, Jake?"
Jake: "Eating." (I had taken a handful of chips off the counter to tie me over until I got to eat lunch, but what I was really doing was putting the sandwhich fixings away, loading the dishwasher and switching a load of laundry, all of which was completely invisible to him.)
Me: My mouth dropped and then I said "Who made your lunch for you?"
Kaylee: "Mom did!!" (She understood where I was going with this and could actually SEE everything I was doing)
Oh!! Yeah!! (as he's laughing!) (as I'm ready to pull my hair out!)

So , I had been thinking about this for the last couple of days, trying to come up with an idea to make my 5 year old understand that moms do lots and lots of non-stop things and that it's o.k. for dads to help out. Then it hit me that we needed to have a Family Home Evening on "The Family: A Proclamation to the World". We did that tonight. It went really well. It was light hearted and fun and we read the proclamation and explained it in kid friendly terms. Then asked everyone to tell what their responsiblilties were in our family (everyones different chores they do, etc.) We had them mention the different things that I do in our family and the things that Casey does. Then we told them that Dad does those things for us and for me because he loves our family, just like I do and we all do. We are in it together and it's all about team work. I think the light bulb actually went on and he got it. Thank goodness!!! If he ever reads this when he's older and more mature, I just want him to understand that it's important to help out around the house and to show in your actions how much you love and appreciate your family. I hope that he will follow his dads example and be the best husband he can be. I also hope he realizes how much I love and appreciate his dad! Thank goodness for the councel we've been given to hold Family Home Evenings. What an important tool this is in raising a family! And thank goodness for blogging...other wise this story of Jake wouln't be recorded. I have been awful with my jounal, so this serves a great purpose for me!!


Vanderbeeks Images said...

Thanks for sharing! We need to do that in our family for FHE. I've been so worried that if I got sick again, it would be nuts around here. And there is nothing better than to teach children to serve in the family setting. Thank you for sharing your great idea.

Bre said...

I love this post! I really got my thinking as well, except mine is the other way around, since Steve is gone a lot at work and stuff when he gets home he plays with the kids a LOT. And to Dax it seems to him like all I do is clean and do the laundry, dishes etc. and it makes me feel bad, like I am the boring mom that has no time for him. When really I do play with him. ANd Steve does help a LOT too, but Dax sees past that I think. It can be so frustrating, we do family night each week as well, maybe I need to do something like that. I just dont know how I would with a 3 and 2 year old. You are such a great mom!! and your great ideas!

Beth Curtis said...

I love Jake! How cute. My favorite part of this blog is your testimony of blogging. Classic.

Andrea said...

That is so funny. You have a great husband, and it is important that Jake realizes how great of a guy he is. I am sure that Jake will be just as wonderful. I am glad you wrote that story down.

Heidi said...

Great picture!!!! you have to email and tell me what settings you had it on??? already better than me :)

Tara said...

What a gorgeous picture! All your pictures lately have been FABULOUS. Thanks for posting this - my little 5 year old is doing a bit of the same stuff, and it's been making me CRAZY feeling so under-appreciated. Good to remember it's all a part of growing up. You are a great parent!

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